Thursday, August 18, 2011

Non-political nonsense...

On a few days of self-imposed exile from all things of the political nature. Sometimes, it's just too much, and it becomes critical to focus on news that doesn't make me want to beat republicans senseless or hurl myself over the edge of the crazy-steep road I now drive to get home...because after all, in the long run, that would not be productive.
Occasionally, one can find comic relief in not-so-relevant news items... like watching Anderson Cooper lose it while reporting on the Gerard Depardieu-peeing-on-a-plane story. Amazing how watching someone else giggle uncontrollably can be utterly contagious. I wonder if we would laugh as much if we were actually on the pee-flight in question. I think I might; kind of sophomoric in that way...
While unpacking some crap I got out of storage, I found another great bit of nonsense I missed the first time around.(anything I have wrapped in old newspapers always takes about 10 times longer to get out and put away; pausing to peruse old headlines is irresistible. It once took me 3 hours to put 8 china place settings away.)  
Headline from an old GJ Sentinel found wrapped around some glasses...
 EX REARRANGES FURNITURE
Seems a Grand Junction man reported to the police that someone entered his home (he wasn't sure if it was a Tuesday night or Wednesday night) and rearranged his furniture... nothing was stolen, apparently he believed that it was an ex-girlfriend who wanted to screw with his head.  Deputies determined there was no evidence of a crime having been committed. Is that because she did a good job?
OK...this tickles me on several levels. He's not sure when the furniture was moved...assuming by the story he wasn't traveling, how observant is this guy if he's not quite sure where his sofa is supposed to be. Is he absolutely sure he had a sofa? Is he absolutely sure he has an ex-girlfriend?
I've been known to be kind of an airhead from time to time, but I'm pretty sure I can remember where my furniture is placed. The reason I know this is that when my husband and I were first married, and too broke to buy new stuff, he would resolve the issue by periodically arranging and rearranging the cast-off furniture we had. Back then, he also used to rearrange the furniture as a form of problem-solving therapy. If he was stressed over a work issue, or trying to figure something out, he'd move end tables and chairs around like chess pieces. That's how I know it's not difficult to remember where your shit is. On more than one occasion, I'd get up in the morning and trip over something that hadn't been there when we'd gone to bed the night before. Once I sent a pitcher of orange juice to an early death by setting in on thin air, because the last time I'd looked, there had been a table where I was putting it. OK...I guess when it comes down to it, I wasn't any more observant than the guy in GJ with the interior-redesigning ex.
I just stayed married to my special re-arranger, but if he pees on a plane we'll have to talk.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

WTF?

This makes about as much sense as the tea party.
California Peaches...Colorado Grown...what's wrong with this picture?
But damn hell, they're Colorado Proud!
(Of what, the fact that they came from California? Wait...maybe the peaches and I have something in common after all.)